Nick Offerman Told Me To ‘Get A Hobby’

It came on a few months ago…I got an unexpected, unexplainable knitting itch. I’ve never really been one to keep a hobby going (unless you count Netflix) and I’ve never been much into crafting. But something in my head decided that I want to knit. I started looking at ‘Learn To Knit’ books and I mentioned it a few times, but beyond that I didn’t set out to learn. I didn’t have the extra cash to buy the things I would need to startup – an assortment of needles, place markers, row counter, stitch holders, yarn, etc.

About a week before xmas, Mr. W. and I watched Nick Offerman’s new stand-up special, American Ham, in which he details 10 rules for living from his book, Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man’s Fundamentals for Delicious Living. Among the rules, ‘engage in romantic love,’ ‘say please and thank you,’ and ‘carry a handkerchief,’ rule number five directs readers/listeners to ‘get a hobby.’ He explains in detail:

“Instead of playing Draw Something, fucking draw something.”

After this brilliant piece of advice, he goes on to list some of the possibilities, including KNITTING. This mention solidified my intentions to learn to knit.

Then for xmas Mr. W. gave me some needles, some yarn, and a beautiful book to help get me started, and his parents gave me supplies too. Now I have a big box of yarn and needles and I’m currently working on my second project. My first project, to be donated upon completion, taught me a few things.

  1. Knitting in one colour can get boring
  2. A scarf made of stockinette stitch will become a sausage
  3. I can knit in the car
  4. Turning mistakes into a pattern maybe isn’t the best way to deal with mistakes in all cases
  5. Starting a new project before completing another one does not inspire me to finish the first one
  6. I need a pretty project bag
The bumpy rows are my attempt to turn a mistake – knitting 2 rows on the wrong side – into a pattern instead of unstitching the rows, which I don’t know how to do yet. Not super pretty.

I was bored with the pumpkin yarn and really wanted to start on a new (flat) scarf for Mr. W., so I took the needles out of this one, put in a stitch holder, and started on a new project. This one quickly fell to the bottom of my yarn box and there it sits. I’m considering binding off as is and donating it as a kid’s scarf…maybe? I suppose the other option would be to unravel it and reuse the yarn for another project, which might be a better idea.

So, now I’m knitting. And daydreaming about getting good enough to have a shop on Etsy one day and make money! I’m only using two colours for Mr. W.’s scarf, but they are beautiful so I’m not bored yet. This scarf will be in ‘mistake rib stitch’ and is not supposed to curl, but we’ll see!


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